I have to tell you first off that I was afraid to sign on here and start talking to you guys because I was afraid of where it would take me. I'm in a rare mood today, and I'd like to keep it that way. However, when I logged on I saw that I was here last on October 10th, 2012. That was only a little over a month ago. I am both floored and saddened by that revelation. It doesn't sound like much to anyone but myself because it feels that I have been gone from "here" for a lot longer than a month. And I guess to be honest, I have been gone from "myself" for a lot longer than that.
I promised my (ex)husband that I would never write about him on my blog, and out of respect for him (and also the fact that he reads this from time to time in what I would like to think of as interest), I won't. Besides, I'm not into bashing (so please respect my wishes of no man-bashing should you like to leave a comment or five) because that's not what "adults" do, and as much as I don't want to be, I am what most consider an adult. With that being said, I won't talk about him per se, but I can't help but write about the goings-on in my world as of late -- and by late I mean holy-shit-how-long-this-whole-thing-really-was-I-can't-believe-I-made-it-out-alive type of lately.
I have no direction with this post tonight, but that's mainly because I am so focused on "direction" in my world for my kids' sake that I wouldn't even know where to begin here. I know I, sadly, have been down this divorce road before, but this time it's different -- dare I say amicable for the most part. For my dearest of friends who have heard me, been here for me, been my rock, my shoulder to lean on, I know you are rolling your eyes saying yeah, amicable my ass, but in comparison to my last go-around, this is a piece of cake. And I suppose I should pause here and thank those who have, in fact, been my rock because if it were not for them, I would have succumbed to the despair I wanted to sink into. I know I had my days, and will have my days, but these girls I love with all my being, I promise to make it all up to them. I know they will say, oh please, that's what friends do, support each other, but for so many years I feel that I took them for granted. They have shown me that they never left me and that I always had them to count on.
I didn't know where this first post of my new path was going to take me, and I like where it ended up. I have so much to share, and I promise I will as I know you all are waiting impatiently for my stories. I won't let you down. Tonight though I will dedicate this post to my forever friends; Kathleen, Brandie, Bek -- without you guys I would have been forever lost. I love the three of you with all my heart. You are my true friends, and I thank you for saving me in the nick of time. I owe you, Kathleen, many rounds of Miller Lites and perhaps throw in a chocolate martini with a little psychedelics for good luck. I owe you, Brandie, many PBRs and crafty hand-made robots with hearts to show that they are as real as my adoration and love for you. I owe you, Bek, a trip down to NOLA to celebrate your new life that is ahead of you and make some memories to last us till next year instead of 10 as our worlds have been meeting up since we met.
I owe a lot of people my love, and I will get to each and every one of you in some way for I am blessed to have been touched by more people than I thought cared about me. I'm humbled, and I vow to never take you for granted again.
*cheers my friends*
Confessions of a Truu Mom
((((HUGS))))
ReplyDeleteGirl, I love the shit out of you. But you are one strong chica and you will get through this...for you and those beautiful kids of you. And I'm always just a message away.......
Just some love from me today :)
DeleteHaving been w/ my mother through 3 of 4 divorces, your kiddos will do better with the attitude you have toward your Ex. My mother claimed to not want to bash my father or her other 2 ex's but did and it was messy for my sister and I. You will feel better too I'm sure because as we all know a negative attitude in any aspect of life will filter into the rest of your life. It's hard and you'll have days but your kiddos will want to make you happy too just like I wanted to help my mommy :-) HUGZ!!!!
ReplyDeletei love you guys. thanks for making me cry -- but its a good cry, an i appreciate you so much cry. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI just saw this!! I love you so much. And of course I just want to say, um yea that's what friends do!! Cos it is. I feel for you, I feel your pain, and i'd do anything to wrap my arms around you and take it all away. Or better yet fix it so things could be as they should. I will always be here. And I agree with Meg... my parents were amicable when they divorced, and it made it so much easier. and these days sometimes my dad talks badly about my mom and her husband and it does not sit well with me. Brock and I never speak badly of Kim in front of the boys. it's just so much better that way. You're doing it right, babe. Hang in there. xoxo
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