I probably need to be medicated. Upon further quick thinking let me state that I know I need to be medicated. Everything is turning me into a sniffling freak, and I'm doing the best I can not to let people see me lest I embarrass my older child or freak my younger child out. I've lost count of all the times I've gotten teary-eyed this week and all the places where I would hope no one would see me, but I shall do a quick recap of just a couple for you.
1) The gym parking lot this morning. Oh for Christ's sakes, the gym parking lot??!! Really??! Who the hell gets teary eyed that their toddler pissed in the toilet at the public gym??!! *hangs head and raises hand*
2) The church rec room yesterday surrounded by tons of other moms who weren't crying when their daughter "bridged" over to the next chapter in Girl Scout life. Seriously, how come *I* was the only one trying not to sob uncontrollably at this little ceremony?!
3) My living room couch when I was reviewing said Girl Scout pictures I took yesterday (realizing that 3/4 of them were blurry, probably because I was wiping snot from my face while taking said pictures) when I came upon the PERFECT picture for a Father's Day present for my daughter's father. *sigh* I don't really care much for the man, and I certainly don't have any extra money to spend on his ungrateful ass, but with that being said, I do consider myself to be rather fantastic and will do this for him simply because, let's face it, I'm rather fantastic.
Anyways, I'm quite fearful for the near and distant future. I'm sure I'll cry when Andrew goes to pre-school. I'm sure I'll cry the same exact day 20 minutes later when Jillian is going into 6th grade. I'm sure I'll cry when/if she doesn't kiss me goodbye on said first day of 6th grade. I can't even begin to think about school dances and proms and boyfriends. I'll be a blubbering mess for many more moments, and I promise I will try not to embarrass the kids too much so that they will still want to be seen with me.
I love those little shits. They mean the world to me and even on the most horrid of days of being a mommy, I'd redo these years all over again because I know I've missed so much so far no matter how many times I remind myself to slow down.
4) My office in front of the computer screen -- at least I'm by myself this time.
*cheers my friends*
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