I've been having a poor me week this week. Nothing looks good on me, nothing really fits like I want it to regardless of how much gym time I put in. I'm self-conscious about my appearance. I'm feeling overly shy lately talking to people. I'm awfully intimidated by some gym bitches, and I don't know why because they truly are bitches and most assuredly shouldn't be. I don't know what it is, but I can say emphatically that I am not happy in my own skin lately. This makes me sad, but I figure I'll "snap out of it" soon -- I hope.
So with this being said I have noticed that my 10-year-old, almost 11-year-old (gasp) daughter is the exact opposite of me lately. She unabashedly belts out tunes in the car with the windows rolled down while waving to people smiling and singing. When I ask her what she's doing she tells me that she is just seeing how many cranky or not cranky people there are on the road. This causes me to chuckle as I think everyone on the road is cranky, but I'll be damned if she doesn't get at least three-quarters of the people to wave back at her. She also got "dared" by her friend at school to wear her lop-sided ponytails out for the rest of the day and that day we just happened to go out to supper. She proudly wore those ponytails and I loved her extra in that moment for not caring what people thought. I would like to put a disclaimer here that I am never embarrassed by my children and actually was jealous that I couldn't wear my hair like that without feeling like a fool. The other thing she has been doing lately is putting on her best hip hop dance moves in the house and begs me to film her. I oblige because, after all, she's freakin' awesome and can totally bust a move 100% better than me. Again, something I'm jealous of.
So as I look at her in adoration and smile at the innocence, I can't help but feel a twinge of sadness in the fact that this may come to an end soon. I hope it doesn't. I hope she embraces herself for all that she is and makes no apologies to anybody for being true to herself. She is amazing in every possible way, and I just need to learn to embrace myself and love me just as much as she does.
*cheers my friends*
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