Friday, March 30, 2012

My Dusty Cape and Me

So this week has been a less than stellar week involving all things me.  I will always be the first to admit defeat so it's okay.  I can take the blame when shit goes awry because I wasn't on my A-game (if ever I really am on it), and so I will admit now that I've just let everything fall to the wayside.  Everything from barely giving an effort at the gym, if I make it to the gym at all, not caring what goes in my mouth for food let alone keeping track of what I'm eating, to serving leftovers to the family on more than three occasions, and let us not forget how long it took me from the time I smelled that shitty diaper to the time I actually decided that if I don't change the boy, his ass will surely turn into a fireball.  There's tons of things I didn't mention, but I'm sure you get the idea by now.

So this morning starts out a little different so I take advantage of the extra 30 minutes I have and sleep in.  I didn't feel guilty that I could have used that time more wisely, for this 30 minutes was indeed used quite effectively.  Rockstar has school today *squeee* and my favorite spin class is today.  I am going to rock this day I say.  It's Friday, and I figure better late than never.  While I'm getting dressed, and surprisingly able to get into my gym pants, which I was certain were not going to fit after the past few days, I heard Jillian and Andrew in the living room.  I had asked her to help him get on his sneakers, and while she was doing that I heard her say, "Doodle, doodle, doo -- doodle, doodle, doo."  I stopped dead in my tracks and just listened to him giggling at her little sing song.  My eyes teared up listening to her because this is exactly what my late grandmother, lovingly referred to as G, used to do to the babies when she was playing with them.  In that moment I realized that this was my sign that G was hanging around here letting me know she was watching us and saying hello.

So I stood up, smiled, said a silent thank you, I miss you and just what I needed at that moment to my G, and I dug out a very dusty, but thankfully still available cape that allows me to be, usually, supermom -- of course.  I figured this time I would use it to be super me.  I know that's so wicked super corny, and no, I don't literally have a cape.  I was just basically "pulling up my big girl panties," and getting this show on the road.  I dropped the kids off at their schools, I turned the radio up nice and loud on the way to the gym, I kicked that stair climber's ass and I hopped on that bike ready to ride and ride it I did -- so much that I have an aching in my ass, but that's okay.  That's what I was looking for.

So, now, I best be finishing up my lunch, which by the way, since I'm keeping track (for today at least) is homemade chicken soup and homemade little pizza (and who cares if there's extra cheese -- at least I am keeping track of it) and before this burst of energy leaves me or that G feels her job is done and moves onto the next family member to lift up, I better get a move on and put a huge dent into my work projects.  I want to enjoy my weekend with my kids, meet up with some new friends and keep on being this spot-on girl that I am today.  Of course, I'm realistic and know that I will have something to bitch about before the day's end, but I'll ride on this high for the moment because that's all I have -- this moment.

*cheers my friends*

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